Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
