Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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