i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
