Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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