After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
