i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
