Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
