She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
