She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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