i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
