You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
