It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
