I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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