I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
