I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
