I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize