I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
