i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
