i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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