I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
