Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the condom got lost in my hair
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This is the high leading the old right now
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
