how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
