I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
