In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
