did you get engaged???
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize