the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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