im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Randomize
