Buhtt sex?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
