Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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