he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She's the barista slut.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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