So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
it's like iHOP with fire
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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