So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
