it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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