I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
