2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
