Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
