Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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