this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
