omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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