I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
