I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She bit a glass in half.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
