I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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