I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize