worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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