i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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