remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
