You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
