Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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