Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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