You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
