My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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