I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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