ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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