He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
