I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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