your room smells of hookers.
And success
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
