How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
this just has baby written all over it
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
