TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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